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awritinglilypeaTitle: Newspaper Clippings
Fandom: Lotrips
Pairing: Orlijah eventually, Viggo/Bean
Rating: PG-13
Complete: Only in my head.
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, romance.
Chapter Summary: Orlando goes to the only people he knows who can help him with his "situation".
Author's Note: I'm sorry.
To![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sparkly_shiny who is an awesome beta. You're too good to me.
Previous chapters
Orlando was lost.
His breathing sped up and he felt dizzy as gentle hands led him into Viggo and Sean’s apartment, but he wasn’t actually sure which one of them was doing it.
“I kissed him,” he said blankly, as tears blurred his vision. “I kissed him and now he’ll hate me,” he knew he was being overdramatic, but his emotions just felt too close to the surface.
Viggo wrapped his arms around Orlando tightly, kissing his temple gently and sighing.
“It’s okay,” the artist told him, “he’s not going to hate you. Elijah doesn’t have it in his heart to hate anyone; you should know him better than that.”
Orlando shook his head, swiping at his eyes and whimpered softly, shaking his head again. He couldn’t help himself. The pain in his chest was surpassed only by that of the headache, which was beginning to pulse at his temples.
“I can’t do this, I can’t I can’t,” he didn’t know what was wrong with him, why the pain of the thought of losing Elijah was enough to make him want to lose it entirely.
“What do you mean?” Sean asked, his voice a little less gentle than Viggo’s, more gruff.
Orlando buried his hands in his hair as he bowed his head and tried to figure out what exactly it was that he was thinking. He didn’t know if he could even begin to figure it out.
“I’ve hurt him,” he murmured softly, sighing as he drew in a breath.
“How?” Sean asked, his voice filled with compassion but also a firmness that suggested Orlando would not be able to plead himself out of an explanation for whatever had occurred between himself and Elijah.
“He had an awful day, and I had an awful day because he didn’t...I mean...I don’t know,” Orlando groaned, standing up. He began pacing.
Sean sighed loudly, shaking his head. He was clearly reaching the end of his rope with Orlando.
“He didn’t come home on time,” Orlando burst out, the worry he had been feeling earlier making him want to hit something, especially since Dom had only managed to elevate it with his own rants and worries.
“Okay,” Viggo broke in before Orlando could say more, holding up two hands. “Now, why don’t you start from the beginning of today?”
Orlando jerked his head in a nod, “I can do that,” he smiled tremulously.
“Okay, so, this morning you woke up and Elijah was meant to start classes, yes?” Viggo asked him, leveling his lover with a stare to keep him quiet so that they would be able to properly listen to Orlando.
“Yes, I wanted to get up extra early,” Orlando answered, smiling in an almost bashful manner as he remembered the excitement he had for his room mate, friend and...interest? He wanted Elijah to be able to make his way, wanted him to be able to have the kind of life Elijah had confessed to dreaming of.
“And so you got up extra early? Were things bad right from the get go?” Viggo asked in a soothing voice, making Orlando wonder, not for the first time, if Viggo had either taken psychology or was a psychologist in a previous life.
“No no, I made him tea just like he likes it and I asked him how he felt today. He seemed really nervous, but you both know what ‘Lij can get like,” Orlando explained, running his fingers through his hair.
Sean nodded his head, having had many talks with the young former actor himself over the time he and Orlando had been living together so far.
“He left the apartment, and I went about my day and I came back, knowing that he would most likely be home after me, because he mentioned going to see Astin at the bookstore and possibly stopping by here,” Orlando went through the memory of how worried he’d gotten when he realized that Elijah was later and later.
“When Dom stopped by I got even more worried than I already had been, as he kept going on about how it had been a bad idea for Elijah take the courses on his own, how bad it had been for me to let him leave and he couldn’t get a hold of him,” he swallowed heavily, the sickening feeling of something having gone wrong, even remembering it making him want to run out and search for Elijah everywhere.
Viggo and Sean both had pensive expressions on their faces as they studied him, taking in everything he was saying.
“And where had Elijah been?” Sean asked, worry colouring his words now.
“He didn’t go to class,” Orlando answered him. “He didn’t say where he went, but he didn’t go to class. I don’t even know if he got to school before he decided he couldn’t go.”
“How did this lead up to a kiss?” Viggo questioned, covering one of Orlando’s hands with his own and squeezing very gently.
Orlando took a deep breath, “he went to lie down and I went in when I thought he should wake up and when he did he looked at me like he’d never seen me before.”
Viggo nodded his head, rubbing his back gently.
“I told him that I cared about him more than I should,” Orlando said in a choked voice, “and I do. I shouldn’t...I shouldn’t want to do this.”
Sean let out a frustrated growl, “you don’t owe Stuart anything, how many times do we have to tell you this?” he asked him.
Orlando bowed his head, rubbing his face. He nodded to indicate he was listening.
“What happened after?” Viggo asked him insistently, wanting the full story before he passed any judgment at all.
Orlando laughed, the sound coming across as harsh and bitter. “He comforted me. He told me it was okay to care like he bloody well knew what it was like to care for someone so much it hurts, to want something so much that you would crawl across glass to get at it.”
He swiped at his eyes again, because why shouldn’t he be an emotional mess? He’d fucked up everything already.
“I kissed him, I kissed him and I ruined everything, because I wasn’t supposed to get involved with him like this. I was supposed to just be his friend, be his room mate and help him when he needed it but I fucked that up,” he stood up, feeling desperate for answers, desperate for a way to turn the clock back.
“What did he say when you kissed him?” Viggo questions, his eyes burning into Orlando.
“He said to me, in a very soft voice, 'you care’ and I just...”
“You fucking ran away,” Sean said in an angry voice. “How could you do that? The poor lad is probably sitting in that apartment alone thinking you don’t give a damn about him. You know that, right?”
Orlando wanted to hide, knowing Sean was right because Sean had always been the first person to point out whenever he’d done something completely stupid and this was it. He had hurt Elijah.
“I d-didn’t mean to,” he murmured, hopeless.
“You never do, but you are not going to let what Stuart did destroy not only you but another person, you’re going to tell Elijah, explain it all to him,” Sean responded seriously.
“Don’t you think he deserves at least that much?” Sean asked him in the next moment.
Orlando nodded his head, not bothering to reply with words.
Elijah did deserve, at the very least, an explanation, and at the most a million apologies, all laid at his feet.
He just didn’t know if he had the strength to do it.
Fandom: Lotrips
Pairing: Orlijah eventually, Viggo/Bean
Rating: PG-13
Complete: Only in my head.
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, romance.
Chapter Summary: Orlando goes to the only people he knows who can help him with his "situation".
Author's Note: I'm sorry.
To
sparkly_shiny who is an awesome beta. You're too good to me. Previous chapters
Orlando was lost.
His breathing sped up and he felt dizzy as gentle hands led him into Viggo and Sean’s apartment, but he wasn’t actually sure which one of them was doing it.
“I kissed him,” he said blankly, as tears blurred his vision. “I kissed him and now he’ll hate me,” he knew he was being overdramatic, but his emotions just felt too close to the surface.
Viggo wrapped his arms around Orlando tightly, kissing his temple gently and sighing.
“It’s okay,” the artist told him, “he’s not going to hate you. Elijah doesn’t have it in his heart to hate anyone; you should know him better than that.”
Orlando shook his head, swiping at his eyes and whimpered softly, shaking his head again. He couldn’t help himself. The pain in his chest was surpassed only by that of the headache, which was beginning to pulse at his temples.
“I can’t do this, I can’t I can’t,” he didn’t know what was wrong with him, why the pain of the thought of losing Elijah was enough to make him want to lose it entirely.
“What do you mean?” Sean asked, his voice a little less gentle than Viggo’s, more gruff.
Orlando buried his hands in his hair as he bowed his head and tried to figure out what exactly it was that he was thinking. He didn’t know if he could even begin to figure it out.
“I’ve hurt him,” he murmured softly, sighing as he drew in a breath.
“How?” Sean asked, his voice filled with compassion but also a firmness that suggested Orlando would not be able to plead himself out of an explanation for whatever had occurred between himself and Elijah.
“He had an awful day, and I had an awful day because he didn’t...I mean...I don’t know,” Orlando groaned, standing up. He began pacing.
Sean sighed loudly, shaking his head. He was clearly reaching the end of his rope with Orlando.
“He didn’t come home on time,” Orlando burst out, the worry he had been feeling earlier making him want to hit something, especially since Dom had only managed to elevate it with his own rants and worries.
“Okay,” Viggo broke in before Orlando could say more, holding up two hands. “Now, why don’t you start from the beginning of today?”
Orlando jerked his head in a nod, “I can do that,” he smiled tremulously.
“Okay, so, this morning you woke up and Elijah was meant to start classes, yes?” Viggo asked him, leveling his lover with a stare to keep him quiet so that they would be able to properly listen to Orlando.
“Yes, I wanted to get up extra early,” Orlando answered, smiling in an almost bashful manner as he remembered the excitement he had for his room mate, friend and...interest? He wanted Elijah to be able to make his way, wanted him to be able to have the kind of life Elijah had confessed to dreaming of.
“And so you got up extra early? Were things bad right from the get go?” Viggo asked in a soothing voice, making Orlando wonder, not for the first time, if Viggo had either taken psychology or was a psychologist in a previous life.
“No no, I made him tea just like he likes it and I asked him how he felt today. He seemed really nervous, but you both know what ‘Lij can get like,” Orlando explained, running his fingers through his hair.
Sean nodded his head, having had many talks with the young former actor himself over the time he and Orlando had been living together so far.
“He left the apartment, and I went about my day and I came back, knowing that he would most likely be home after me, because he mentioned going to see Astin at the bookstore and possibly stopping by here,” Orlando went through the memory of how worried he’d gotten when he realized that Elijah was later and later.
“When Dom stopped by I got even more worried than I already had been, as he kept going on about how it had been a bad idea for Elijah take the courses on his own, how bad it had been for me to let him leave and he couldn’t get a hold of him,” he swallowed heavily, the sickening feeling of something having gone wrong, even remembering it making him want to run out and search for Elijah everywhere.
Viggo and Sean both had pensive expressions on their faces as they studied him, taking in everything he was saying.
“And where had Elijah been?” Sean asked, worry colouring his words now.
“He didn’t go to class,” Orlando answered him. “He didn’t say where he went, but he didn’t go to class. I don’t even know if he got to school before he decided he couldn’t go.”
“How did this lead up to a kiss?” Viggo questioned, covering one of Orlando’s hands with his own and squeezing very gently.
Orlando took a deep breath, “he went to lie down and I went in when I thought he should wake up and when he did he looked at me like he’d never seen me before.”
Viggo nodded his head, rubbing his back gently.
“I told him that I cared about him more than I should,” Orlando said in a choked voice, “and I do. I shouldn’t...I shouldn’t want to do this.”
Sean let out a frustrated growl, “you don’t owe Stuart anything, how many times do we have to tell you this?” he asked him.
Orlando bowed his head, rubbing his face. He nodded to indicate he was listening.
“What happened after?” Viggo asked him insistently, wanting the full story before he passed any judgment at all.
Orlando laughed, the sound coming across as harsh and bitter. “He comforted me. He told me it was okay to care like he bloody well knew what it was like to care for someone so much it hurts, to want something so much that you would crawl across glass to get at it.”
He swiped at his eyes again, because why shouldn’t he be an emotional mess? He’d fucked up everything already.
“I kissed him, I kissed him and I ruined everything, because I wasn’t supposed to get involved with him like this. I was supposed to just be his friend, be his room mate and help him when he needed it but I fucked that up,” he stood up, feeling desperate for answers, desperate for a way to turn the clock back.
“What did he say when you kissed him?” Viggo questions, his eyes burning into Orlando.
“He said to me, in a very soft voice, 'you care’ and I just...”
“You fucking ran away,” Sean said in an angry voice. “How could you do that? The poor lad is probably sitting in that apartment alone thinking you don’t give a damn about him. You know that, right?”
Orlando wanted to hide, knowing Sean was right because Sean had always been the first person to point out whenever he’d done something completely stupid and this was it. He had hurt Elijah.
“I d-didn’t mean to,” he murmured, hopeless.
“You never do, but you are not going to let what Stuart did destroy not only you but another person, you’re going to tell Elijah, explain it all to him,” Sean responded seriously.
“Don’t you think he deserves at least that much?” Sean asked him in the next moment.
Orlando nodded his head, not bothering to reply with words.
Elijah did deserve, at the very least, an explanation, and at the most a million apologies, all laid at his feet.
He just didn’t know if he had the strength to do it.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-07-21 11:27 pm (UTC)You had better not make me wait that long for the next part!!!!!!!!!!!
Very well written, smart and lovely. I love how all the emotions show from each of the men and I cannot wait to see how it goes from here...
no subject
Date: 2010-07-21 11:45 pm (UTC)It will be a week until the next chapter.
I'm glad you enjoyed it hun.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-22 01:40 am (UTC)Love you!
no subject
Date: 2010-07-25 05:35 pm (UTC)I love Viggo & Bean, I really do. I can't wait for the next chapter.
:)