![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
awritinglilypeaTitle: Broken Down
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Merlin/Valiant, Merlin/? eventual
Rating: NC-17 for abuse overall. PG-13 for this chapter.
Complete: No.
Genre: Angst, h/c
Prompt: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
kinkme_merlin prompt here
Summary: Merlin tries to continue his life after "the incident" but people are starting to notice something is wrong.
Warnings: Contains domestic abuse, violence and possibly triggering materials
Beta'd by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ibonekoen. One of the best friend's a girl could have, and an excellent editor.
Prologue
“You seem...different in some way,” Gwen commented before she took a sip of her tea a few days after what Merlin had dubbed ‘The Incident’ in his mind.’ “You’ve been acting strange for a little while now,” she told him, concern colouring her voice. “Is something going on?”
Merlin glanced up at her from beneath his bangs and shook his head, disagreeing with her and managing to get his hair out of his face. “No, nothing’s going on, I’ve just been really busy working, and helping out Valiant.” He managed not to flinch at the mention of his lover’s name even from his own lips and mentally patted himself on the back.
Gwen studied him intently, her eyes meeting his and Merlin had to forcefully resist the urge to swallow or look away. He had to resist the urge to break down and tell her about his life, about what was supposedly a blissful existence with a guy whom Merlin had heard many women call hot. Although they actually seemed more interested in his money rather than anything else, little did they know.
“I guess you are,” Gwen said slowly, although her gaze didn’t fall away from his. “I guess you’re still getting used to sharing your living space with someone else, right?” she asked him sunnily.
Merlin felt bile rise in his throat and swallowed quickly, plastering a smile on his face he nodded his head. “Right, I mean it’s been about a year and a half now but Val was away for much of that,” he explained, hating how easily the lie seemed to come to his lips, especially with Gwen. “We’ve only just finished unpacking and it’s still a lot to get used to with his job change and him being home a lot more lately. We’re still adjusting to each other in that sense I suppose.”
The bruises also had less time to heal before the next beating as well, but those were words he wouldn’t dare say out loud.
“I’d say; I mean, when Lance took that month off I almost went completely barmy. It was awful really, him being underfoot all the time, trying to help me with things he never wanted to before,” Gwen commented lightly and laughed. “He was getting into everything, although I do admit I was quite happy for the mornings when he decided that I deserved breakfast in bed.”
Envy stabbed at his nerves, making him want to tell her more than anything what his life was actually like and how lucky she had it. Jealousy made anger rear its ugly head and he found himself wanting to shout at her, wanting to tell her that he wished he had a boyfriend who would help him out with things, who would hold him and love him and tell him that he was everything in the world. He wanted someone like Lance...or Arthur who was brave and noble, as opposed to someone who would tie him to the bed and beat him savagely, who would try to crush his very spirit and choke his freedom.
With a quick glance at his watch Merlin ignored his shaking hand and and shot her a tight smile before he stood up. “I’d best be going, Gaius will be pretty angry if I’m late getting back to work, maybe we could meet up later this week?” he asked her.
Gwen rose as well, and kissed his cheek frowning as she did so. Merlin resisted the urge to flinch when her hand grasped at his wrist, and managed to paste a smile on his lips. “You would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?” she asked him, solemn eyes on his face.
Merlin nodded his head quickly, wanting to leave no room for questions being asked. “Of course I would, you’re my best friend Gwen, who else would I talk to if there was something wrong?” he asked her, kissing her cheek quickly he turned almost running into Arthur as he did so he stumbled slightly, almost dropping the coffee cup he had clutched in his hand. “Sorry there, Arthur. I’ll see you later okay? Both of you,” he told them, tossing the cup in the trash.
Arthur frowned, brow arched as he looked Merlin up and down. “Merlin, for God’s sake, slow down before you hurt yourself. Are you al-?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” Merlin snapped without meaning to and an apology slid over his face before he took off toward Gaius’ shop almost at a run.
“He’s not all right,” Gwen commented in a soft voice to Arthur, as Merlin faded from their sight. Worry was written all over her face as she glanced from Merlin’s retreating back to Arthur’s face.
“Probably not getting laid enough,” Arthur snorted as he picked up Gwen’s discarded coffee and sipped before he made a face at the overly sugary taste and set it back down. He slumped down into a seat, and waited for Gwen to sit down.
Gwen rolled her eyes and shook her head, unsurprised at his attitude. Arthur was as thick as he was fit at times. “It’s not that,” she scolded him, exasperated. “Has he talked to you lately? Or Gwaine? Or Morgana?” she asked him.
Arthur shook his head, thinking to himself. “Not for about a month much, other than pub quiz nights and even then that overgrown ape he calls a boyfriend lurks over him like someone might snatch him away in a moment’s notice, disgusting really. Morgana said that she saw Merlin at the grocers last week while she was there with Leon and he was acting rather dodgy,” he admitted, worry beginning to sink in.
“Dodgy how?” Gwen asked him, suspicion written all over her face as she leaned forward, pressing one hand flat against the table.
“I don’t know,” Arthur replied, frustrated at well. “Like he didn’t want to be seen or he wasn’t supposed to be there,” he tapped his fingers against the table, anxious.
Gwen felt sickened, his stomach churning. “You don’t think,” she trailed off, not even wanting to finish the sentence.
“If this is some smart ass joke,” Arthur grumbled, catching the stricken look on her face he leaned in a little more and let out a huff, not wanting to even imagine what she was thinking even if he could see it written all over her face. “What? What are you thinking Guinevere?” he demanded.
“You don’t think Valiant is hurting him, do you?” Gwen asked in a faint voice, her eyes filled with tears. The thought of Merlin being abused, being hurt and the fact that he didn’t tell anyone made her heart ache.
“No, no, he wouldn’t,” Arthur refused, choking out the words. “Merlin wouldn’t stand for it,” but even as he uttered the words he thought of the haunted look he’d seen in Merlin’s eyes when he’d looked up at him and tried to shake it off.
Merlin was feisty, annoying at times but feisty. If Valiant lifted a hand to him he would...he would...
Arthur struggled with the thoughts invading his mind.
Merlin was not being abused. He couldn’t be.
Previous Chapter
Chapter Two
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Merlin/Valiant, Merlin/? eventual
Rating: NC-17 for abuse overall. PG-13 for this chapter.
Complete: No.
Genre: Angst, h/c
Prompt: Written for
kinkme_merlin prompt hereSummary: Merlin tries to continue his life after "the incident" but people are starting to notice something is wrong.
Warnings: Contains domestic abuse, violence and possibly triggering materials
Beta'd by
ibonekoen. One of the best friend's a girl could have, and an excellent editor.Prologue
“You seem...different in some way,” Gwen commented before she took a sip of her tea a few days after what Merlin had dubbed ‘The Incident’ in his mind.’ “You’ve been acting strange for a little while now,” she told him, concern colouring her voice. “Is something going on?”
Merlin glanced up at her from beneath his bangs and shook his head, disagreeing with her and managing to get his hair out of his face. “No, nothing’s going on, I’ve just been really busy working, and helping out Valiant.” He managed not to flinch at the mention of his lover’s name even from his own lips and mentally patted himself on the back.
Gwen studied him intently, her eyes meeting his and Merlin had to forcefully resist the urge to swallow or look away. He had to resist the urge to break down and tell her about his life, about what was supposedly a blissful existence with a guy whom Merlin had heard many women call hot. Although they actually seemed more interested in his money rather than anything else, little did they know.
“I guess you are,” Gwen said slowly, although her gaze didn’t fall away from his. “I guess you’re still getting used to sharing your living space with someone else, right?” she asked him sunnily.
Merlin felt bile rise in his throat and swallowed quickly, plastering a smile on his face he nodded his head. “Right, I mean it’s been about a year and a half now but Val was away for much of that,” he explained, hating how easily the lie seemed to come to his lips, especially with Gwen. “We’ve only just finished unpacking and it’s still a lot to get used to with his job change and him being home a lot more lately. We’re still adjusting to each other in that sense I suppose.”
The bruises also had less time to heal before the next beating as well, but those were words he wouldn’t dare say out loud.
“I’d say; I mean, when Lance took that month off I almost went completely barmy. It was awful really, him being underfoot all the time, trying to help me with things he never wanted to before,” Gwen commented lightly and laughed. “He was getting into everything, although I do admit I was quite happy for the mornings when he decided that I deserved breakfast in bed.”
Envy stabbed at his nerves, making him want to tell her more than anything what his life was actually like and how lucky she had it. Jealousy made anger rear its ugly head and he found himself wanting to shout at her, wanting to tell her that he wished he had a boyfriend who would help him out with things, who would hold him and love him and tell him that he was everything in the world. He wanted someone like Lance...or Arthur who was brave and noble, as opposed to someone who would tie him to the bed and beat him savagely, who would try to crush his very spirit and choke his freedom.
With a quick glance at his watch Merlin ignored his shaking hand and and shot her a tight smile before he stood up. “I’d best be going, Gaius will be pretty angry if I’m late getting back to work, maybe we could meet up later this week?” he asked her.
Gwen rose as well, and kissed his cheek frowning as she did so. Merlin resisted the urge to flinch when her hand grasped at his wrist, and managed to paste a smile on his lips. “You would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?” she asked him, solemn eyes on his face.
Merlin nodded his head quickly, wanting to leave no room for questions being asked. “Of course I would, you’re my best friend Gwen, who else would I talk to if there was something wrong?” he asked her, kissing her cheek quickly he turned almost running into Arthur as he did so he stumbled slightly, almost dropping the coffee cup he had clutched in his hand. “Sorry there, Arthur. I’ll see you later okay? Both of you,” he told them, tossing the cup in the trash.
Arthur frowned, brow arched as he looked Merlin up and down. “Merlin, for God’s sake, slow down before you hurt yourself. Are you al-?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” Merlin snapped without meaning to and an apology slid over his face before he took off toward Gaius’ shop almost at a run.
“He’s not all right,” Gwen commented in a soft voice to Arthur, as Merlin faded from their sight. Worry was written all over her face as she glanced from Merlin’s retreating back to Arthur’s face.
“Probably not getting laid enough,” Arthur snorted as he picked up Gwen’s discarded coffee and sipped before he made a face at the overly sugary taste and set it back down. He slumped down into a seat, and waited for Gwen to sit down.
Gwen rolled her eyes and shook her head, unsurprised at his attitude. Arthur was as thick as he was fit at times. “It’s not that,” she scolded him, exasperated. “Has he talked to you lately? Or Gwaine? Or Morgana?” she asked him.
Arthur shook his head, thinking to himself. “Not for about a month much, other than pub quiz nights and even then that overgrown ape he calls a boyfriend lurks over him like someone might snatch him away in a moment’s notice, disgusting really. Morgana said that she saw Merlin at the grocers last week while she was there with Leon and he was acting rather dodgy,” he admitted, worry beginning to sink in.
“Dodgy how?” Gwen asked him, suspicion written all over her face as she leaned forward, pressing one hand flat against the table.
“I don’t know,” Arthur replied, frustrated at well. “Like he didn’t want to be seen or he wasn’t supposed to be there,” he tapped his fingers against the table, anxious.
Gwen felt sickened, his stomach churning. “You don’t think,” she trailed off, not even wanting to finish the sentence.
“If this is some smart ass joke,” Arthur grumbled, catching the stricken look on her face he leaned in a little more and let out a huff, not wanting to even imagine what she was thinking even if he could see it written all over her face. “What? What are you thinking Guinevere?” he demanded.
“You don’t think Valiant is hurting him, do you?” Gwen asked in a faint voice, her eyes filled with tears. The thought of Merlin being abused, being hurt and the fact that he didn’t tell anyone made her heart ache.
“No, no, he wouldn’t,” Arthur refused, choking out the words. “Merlin wouldn’t stand for it,” but even as he uttered the words he thought of the haunted look he’d seen in Merlin’s eyes when he’d looked up at him and tried to shake it off.
Merlin was feisty, annoying at times but feisty. If Valiant lifted a hand to him he would...he would...
Arthur struggled with the thoughts invading his mind.
Merlin was not being abused. He couldn’t be.
Previous Chapter
Chapter Two
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 01:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 11:02 am (UTC)Thanks for reading and commenting though :)
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 03:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 11:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 03:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 11:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 10:54 am (UTC)Great chapter.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 11:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 01:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-04 01:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 07:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-04 01:45 am (UTC)Also, that icon is so true for me.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-04 02:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-04 02:25 am (UTC)http://merlin.wikia.com/wiki/Merlin_Wiki might work, or the official BBC website, Merlin, Arthur, Gwaine and Gwen are all there, and Valiant is in the season 1 villain section.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-04 03:16 am (UTC)Gwen...you're right girl! We women ALWAYS know these things and Arthur's realization is also interesting.
They both KNOW now they MUST do something!
no subject
Date: 2011-08-04 11:24 am (UTC)Gwen is the smart one at that table, that much is certain.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 11:35 am (UTC)LOL for ever.
Seriiously though, this chapter makes me sad :( I feel for Merlin but I'm so glad Gwen is figuring it out to a point, now if only he would open up and talk to her.
It would be wrong to say I loved this chapter but I did enjoy it.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-06 01:23 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked it -hugs tight-
no subject
Date: 2011-08-06 08:48 am (UTC)This is just, just... poor Merlin! Bless Gwen and her powers of observation. Hopefully, Arthur gets a clue now...
Excellent work! ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-08-06 02:18 pm (UTC)I know, I feel really bad for him too, but it will all work out in the end.